To love and be loved equally is an awesome experience that poets and romantics describe in colorful words without end throughout the ages. But only a few have known and felt the pain of unrequited love. For some, it is a kind of pain that kills ; for others, although the wound may heal it leaves a scar that serves as a warning against putting trust in just anybody. How love can be the source of both profound happiness and great sorrow, is a puzzle that baffled mankind ever since.
Falling in love is not an option. It happens spontaneously, often without reason. Lucky is the one who falls in love with someone who loves him or her equally. It is the expectation of most people that when they love, they must also be loved in equal terms, if not more. When this expectation fails to materialize, the pain begins. This is aggravated by the fact that some people who love seriously are ready to make sacrifices, making martyrs of themselves, hoping against hope that the object of their affections will somehow reciprocate.
If only people who fall in love with someone understand that love is giving, not receiving, there might be less pain to bear. That loving is offering your love, expecting nothing in return. If love equally is returned, cherish it. If not, try again, and again, and again… Or you may want to expand your horizon and perspective. Look for another one. There is a whole wide world out there to choose from. You need not fear rejection after all.
For others, their pain comes later in the relationship. It is when their loved ones simply fall out of love for them. For one reason or the other, or for no reason at all, the truth just smacks them suddenly right in the face, that their partners do not love them anymore. That no amount of sacrifice would be enough to salvage anything from the relationship. This may be depressing at the start, but time heals everything and people will eventually get over this. Mind conditioning may help ease the pain of this kind. We may not wish for this to happen but let’s prepare our minds for this possibility. Our loved ones have minds of their own and that’s beyond our control. What makes the pain too much to bear is the thought that by loving our partner so much they lost their ability to inflict hurt upon us. Love and hate can possibly come from one heart. Knowing this will not keep us from having hearts broken but the pain becomes bearable.
Keeping on a one sided love affair is treading dangerous grounds. It may give the other partner ( the one who is not in love with the other) a chance to exploit and abuse the other party. The best advice for people who are nurturing unrequited love, is to foster and develop a deeper and more profound love, one that only they can give: love of one’s own self. Do not let others hurt you, not even yourself.
BenjunneNarciso 